My Story.

Onesmartcookie – My Story.

Written August 16, 2007

Yesterday, I sat in front of my computer and cried. I felt tired, frustrated and most of all – fat. The 240 pounds of weight that I carry with me has become not only a burden on my organs, health but now is affecting my life. Two years ago, I suffered for two months with excruciating pain that was not diagnosed until I was admitted into the hospital to have my Emergency surgery to have my Gallbladder removed. Until then, I had never been in the hospital or had any time of surgery.

How did this happen?

Ignorance. Memories of my childhood included KFC and picnics. Christmas dinner with sweet trays, sausage stuffing with the turkey, baked pumpkin pies with a pastry that included lard and the after dinner event of lying on the couch with your top button undone. Almost every meal consisted of meat, potatoes and vegetables. Sunday dinner was always roast beef, gravy, mashed potatoes made with sour cream, green beans from a can and for dessert, J-ello! Vegetables were for dip or usually came out of a can or bag from the freezer. Breakfast consisted of arguing with my Mom and telling her I wasn’t hungry. I was told to sit there and eat every Shreddie until the bowl was empty. Her family lived hand to mouth and many times their family had very little for the children to eat. To this day, I feel nauseated at the thought of breakfast cereals. This is how I grew up knowing food. Food was always predictable and boring. Just like that plate of white rice, spareribs and yellow kernel corn.

To be active or inactive?

Exercise. I haven’t seriously exercised since I was in Grade 12 Gym Class. Gym glass was push, push, push. I’m not a lazy person by nature but exercise is not something I enjoy. During the day, I’m constantly on the move from 7:30 AM until 6:00 PM at night. If someone asked me to do something for someone else, I would or if someone needed my help then I would. If I was asked to complete a task for a project or assignment I’m on it. I am determined, persistent and focused. When was the last time I did something for me that didn’t involve me treating myself to the decadent chocolate or tempting cheesecake? Just desserts…If you’re an overweight person, then you are most likely suffering from muscle aches, pains and joint pain. For many years, I would eat Tylenol and the pain would temporarily go away. When you don’t feel great, exercise is the farthest thing from your mind. It’s much easier to rest, sit or lie down to give you comfort. Sit in front of the TV long enough and you will soon buy into all those pizza commercials!

Refuel or Indulge? You’ve just home from work and you’re tired. Who wants to cook? Order takeaway! It’s fast, tasty and will leave you with the food hangover you’ll forget about as soon as you fall asleep on the couch! It’s all about Choice. My decision to lose weight came when a young boy on the bus shrieked at top of his lungs, “Mommy, why is that lady so faaaaaaaaaaaaat”. His Mom shushed him and I picked up any shred of dignity I had left. Sure, I was fat but not THAT fat! I wanted off the fat bus. Combined with poor choices came with the temptation of diets that claimed proven results with minimal effort! I hoped to undo what I had done over the years and save my body. Not only did I lose the weight but this was short term and has now resulted in me now looking to release additional weight! This brings me to this point… right here, right now. This is my choice. I am ready to change. I want to be healthy and I want to live my life.

"Onesmartcookie"