Jan. 16th, 2013
I want to take some time to reflect upon last year because even though it was one of the most challenging years if my adult life, it was the year I took great strides in deciding and taking action in my life. Not only was it challenging in my professional life as there were numerous changes but in my personal life.
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I want to first acknowledge the end of my 15 year relationship with my partner Mike. We are in transition now and the home we bought together is for sale. I am anxious to move forward with my new life and have a place that is my home. There are many things that I am grateful for and most importantly, I now know what I do and do not want from a relationship and from a partner. Over the years, I admit that I outgrew the relationship and that ultimately we want different things in life. It was a hard thing to do, to speak it and to bring it to an end. I stayed for comfort, familiarity, laziness, finances, etc. I realize now that I wasn't doing either of us any favors and it should have been done a long time ago. Needless to say, its in the final stages and that perhaps is my only regret. All of what has happened, all that occurred and all that I experienced has brought me to this place.
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I did a great deal of travelling this year alone. I spent one week in Niagara Falls which I had not been to for over 25 years. It was shortly after my 45th birthday and the end of my 15 year partnership. I spent time with special friends touring vineyards, tourist sites, dinners on the patio, and just relaxing. While there I spent time with my friend's daughters, Julie and Judy. Julie and her husband gave me an unofficial tour of Niagara Falls and took me out for dinner as well. Judy surprised me with an amazing suite in an upscale hotel as well as fine dining in one of the city's most prestigious and well renowned restaurants. I truly felt like a Queen!
On a very sad note, six months after seeing Julie, she was diagnosed with Cancer. She passed away two weeks later. My heart hurt when I heard the news and deeply saddened when hearing of her passing. I cannot imagine how it felt for the news of the diagnosis but to digest the fact that their beloved daughter and sister was now gone. Julie was one of the most selfless women I have met. She worked hard. She loved with a large heart. She would do anything for anyone. I remember stories of her Mom telling me how she would make apple pies at harvest time. Not just six but up to a hundred. She would take them to her customers, to seniors and to those who didn't have the chance to leave their homes. She was a great lover of animals and took in a one eyed pug dog because no one else would have him. Even while in Ontario, I'd receive a text to make sure I was fine or if I needed anything. I am so fortunate to have met her and remember her smile fondly.
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I am so proud of my niece Sabrina who finished her Child and Youth care diploma. She went back to Grant MacEwan and got her degree! The family gathered to celebrate her accomplishment and wouldn't you know, a few months later she got a promotion. In a career which is unrecognized and not given the accolades it deserves, she is making an impact one youth at a time.
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Not all of them were bad dates. There were some amazing men who simply weren't ready for what I had to offer or I couldn't offer them what they needed. As simple as that. So, I am dating.
I want to take some time to reflect upon last year because even though it was one of the most challenging years if my adult life, it was the year I took great strides in deciding and taking action in my life. Not only was it challenging in my professional life as there were numerous changes but in my personal life.
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It was like a roller coaster ride. There were times I was laughing, crying, screaming, giggling and holding on with white knuckles. Just writing that now reminds me of something a friend says, "Life. Enjoy the ride".
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I want to first acknowledge the end of my 15 year relationship with my partner Mike. We are in transition now and the home we bought together is for sale. I am anxious to move forward with my new life and have a place that is my home. There are many things that I am grateful for and most importantly, I now know what I do and do not want from a relationship and from a partner. Over the years, I admit that I outgrew the relationship and that ultimately we want different things in life. It was a hard thing to do, to speak it and to bring it to an end. I stayed for comfort, familiarity, laziness, finances, etc. I realize now that I wasn't doing either of us any favors and it should have been done a long time ago. Needless to say, its in the final stages and that perhaps is my only regret. All of what has happened, all that occurred and all that I experienced has brought me to this place.
******************
I did a great deal of travelling this year alone. I spent one week in Niagara Falls which I had not been to for over 25 years. It was shortly after my 45th birthday and the end of my 15 year partnership. I spent time with special friends touring vineyards, tourist sites, dinners on the patio, and just relaxing. While there I spent time with my friend's daughters, Julie and Judy. Julie and her husband gave me an unofficial tour of Niagara Falls and took me out for dinner as well. Judy surprised me with an amazing suite in an upscale hotel as well as fine dining in one of the city's most prestigious and well renowned restaurants. I truly felt like a Queen!
On a very sad note, six months after seeing Julie, she was diagnosed with Cancer. She passed away two weeks later. My heart hurt when I heard the news and deeply saddened when hearing of her passing. I cannot imagine how it felt for the news of the diagnosis but to digest the fact that their beloved daughter and sister was now gone. Julie was one of the most selfless women I have met. She worked hard. She loved with a large heart. She would do anything for anyone. I remember stories of her Mom telling me how she would make apple pies at harvest time. Not just six but up to a hundred. She would take them to her customers, to seniors and to those who didn't have the chance to leave their homes. She was a great lover of animals and took in a one eyed pug dog because no one else would have him. Even while in Ontario, I'd receive a text to make sure I was fine or if I needed anything. I am so fortunate to have met her and remember her smile fondly.
*******************************
************************
I am so proud of my niece Sabrina who finished her Child and Youth care diploma. She went back to Grant MacEwan and got her degree! The family gathered to celebrate her accomplishment and wouldn't you know, a few months later she got a promotion. In a career which is unrecognized and not given the accolades it deserves, she is making an impact one youth at a time.
*******************************
Summer came quickly and during the months of July and August I managed to injure my knee once but twice! I've never had a knee injury before so it was a new experience for me. Xrays, tests, etc. I was on desk duty for two weeks and that was the hardest part. My job requires me to be mobile so to stay in one spot was a challenge for me! With rest and supplements, it is on the mend and it should be healed by the time my appointment for my MRI comes --- May 2013! I certainly took my mobility for granted.
Even though my knee was injured, I decided that I would take a holiday to the mountains so in August I hopped onto the Greyhound bus and made my way to stay at the Banff Caribou Lodge for a week. It had a magnificent hot pools inside the hotel and spa facilities. I took day trips into the mountains and up to the hot springs. It was the first time I had worn a bathing suit since I was 18. I met two women from England who befriended me and we went to the Tunnel Mountain for the day. Gondola rides, horse and carriage rides, hiking, walking, art galleries or just a leisurely stroll along downtown Banff. It was one of my most memorable experiences.
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Trip Three was totally spontaneous. Three days and I had booked, planned and landed in Vegas alone. People thought i was crazy, nuts and didn't get it. You really are never alone in Sin City. When I decide to do something I just do it. I shopped, saw LaReve which was simply exquisite, stayed out at Fremont Street until the wee hours, dined with an Australian family, wandered and did as I wanted. No schedules. It was the right thing to do and what I needed.
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Dating in your forties is sure different then when you are in your late 20's! Its scary. Who wants to be rejected! One of the reasons I delayed leaving my relationship was because I hated dating. Now, I began to think I should see who was out there so in November I joined Plenty of Fish. I met some of the most bizarre, unique, crazy and there were people I definitely would not have met if it wasn't for this website. I have known people who have met their partners and even husbands online so I thought I'd give it a go! I could write a book about my experiences. I remind myself if this:
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
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Not all of them were bad dates. There were some amazing men who simply weren't ready for what I had to offer or I couldn't offer them what they needed. As simple as that. So, I am dating.
I'm taking 2013 to get back to me. To find what was misplaced or put on the shelf. Its time.
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