I Choose Health!

I believe that if you do not have good health, that you do not have anything. It sounds severe but I do beleive this. I choose good health!!

What have I done this last year to improve my health? I have limited the amount of meat I consume and have tried being aa vegetarian for one week with great success. I've incorporated fruits and vegetables in my diet and decreased junk food. I cannot say I've eliminated it after what you will read below. I have not incorportated any exercise but I have made more effort to move my body daily and to crack open the snowshoes we purchased last Christmas. I have become more aware and have begun to listen to my body. I've taken a test to see what the good foods for me and what the bad foods for me are. You know what? I KNEW all the time what the good foods were and what the bad foods were but but chose not to listen to my own body. I believed that if someone else told me then that must be the answer! I know what feels good in my body and I know what doesn't! I'm 4o years old and for the first time in my life, I'm going to listen to my body. This was the most important thing I learned in 2007.

Right now, my body is very unhappy. Heavy meal on Christmas Day. Boxing Day we ate out and had humongous ribs at Tony Roma's and a huge onion appetizer deep fried thing. Don't forget, leftover Chinese at Mom's that night! Not to mention, days of eating a box Purdy's chocolates (like who can eat one?) , nibbling cookies while baking, and over indulging overall. Its Christmas afterall and haven't I deserved it? YesterdayI suffered BIG TIME. Nausea. Bloating. Oh yes, and gas that smelt like a toxic waste dump and other body waste as well. It's trying to detox with minimal success. Imagine putting your body through all that for the sake of a couple of moments of feeling the mmmmmmmmmmmm's. Its crazy.

Now, all I want is to feel comfortable in my body which I do not. I have tried bland food like crackers and scrambled eggs. I sipped tea. I drank water. I drank Pepto Bismol and a few moments ago, ate Gravol to numb the feeling. Pain in my stomach and radiating through my back was numbed by Advil. Not to mention, joint pain in my ankles, knees and elbow joints. My body is tired and I tried to lay down to calm it but only induced acid reflux. I've realized that there is no quick fix to what I have created. Just as the over the counter medications numb the pain, food numbs me in other ways. Its comfort, its instant gratification....

Emotionally, I'm pissed at myself. My health is preventing me from living my life. I can't move comfortably right now and I'm unhappy in my own skin. I've been invited to go places and I feel ashamed of how I look. I stand in front of my closet and wonder what I'm going to wear. The clothes I do have feel uncomfortable, ride up, pinch or bind... Quite often I choose black because .. black makes you look thinner. One would think that I would feel comfortable with my family but even them, I feel very self aware and have body issues.

I need to do something and I seriously need to do it, NOW.