After lurking on http://www.formerfatguy.com/ and posting messages I thought it was time to step up to the plate. The creator of the website, the man himself has offered to Pimp Your Diet providing you comply to his guidelines. Fair enough.
The man is hard core as is Darlene. Who am I to argue with success? He obviously knows more then I do about healthy eating, exercise and weightloss. Darlene makes hummus from dried beans and got me to try things like Kale and Tofu. Who would have thought? These folks inspire me to live and eat healthier so this is a circle of friends that have had an impact on my life.
Well, six months ago I would not have had the guts to do it but I believe things happen for a reason. I have complied and now we are onto stage two. Food journalling and recording everything I put into my mouth and the times as well as any other comments so it will help determine my habits and head space. I'm going to openly admit that journalling is not one of my favourite things because it reminds me of my Weight Watcher days. However, having said that, I was always successful when I journalled and the scales always weighed in my favour!
Read my previous entry to determine what was the deciding factor(s).
I decided to post this picture. It was taken on Christmas Day and I was quite excited to poke through the pages to learn about the vegetarian choices and food prep. I also changed my page setup and colour to reflect green. Green to me is growth. Fresh, new.
This is my first entry. Day One.
8:30 AM Woke up and wanted desperately to pull my head under the covers but have committed to meeting with my sister and the nieces today before we go off on New Year's Eve.
9:oo AM Feeling sore from yesterday. Back is sore and neck. Joints in ankles and elbows sore. Will have some tea and have shower before deciding to take Advil or not. Will try first..
9:10 AM Breakfast. 3 Cups of Calli Cinnamon Tea with Suncare. 2 Eggs over easy with Bragg's Sprinkle and 1 Tsp. of Olive Oil. 1 Pina Nuplus made with Calli. Somewhat hungry but knew I would need my energy and fuel to getmy ass dragged through West Edmonton Mall! Eggs and tea were the easy choice. Nuplus was my concious choice.
9:30 Am Called family to let them know we wouldn't be making the 10:00 Am agreed time. 11:30 AM we will meet. I'm going to hop in the shower and see if I can shake off this foggy brain and the stiff/sore joints. Joints are actually cracking in my elbow as I type this. Feeling stuffed up this morning.
11:00 Am Scant handful of nuts included pinenuts and four raw almonds. 3 dried Apricots.
12:30 Pm Six small Mexican Rolls. (Spicy Tuna, Seaweed, Rice rolled in sesame seeds) 1.5 cups of bean sprouts, carrots and three pieces of cucumber. Bottle of water.
Left mall at 3:00 PM. Headed to hotel for New Year's Eve/Romance Package.
5:30 PM Ordered room service. Carrots. Cauliflower and Brocolli. Baked potato. Chives. Bacon Bits. Sour Cream. 8 Ounce Grilled Steak medium well. Bottle of water with meal. I should have omitted bacon bits and sour cream. Very full! Almost to the point of uncomfortable. Realized that I did not have afternoon snack and should intake more water.
10:00 PM Romance package arrived -- surprize. Whoops, more food! I consumed 1/2 bottle of white wine. Three types of cheese. Crackers. Slices of cantalope and melon. 2 Chocolate dipped strawberries. Felt light headed with 'buzz'. I didn't feel too badly about the cheese, crackers and wine but was feeling guilty about large dinner.... Not a great way to start the New Year.
Went to sleep at 1:30 Am
Looking at this, I am feeling accountable and realize that I didn't make the best choices but tomorrow is a new day.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I believe that if you do not have good health, that you do not have anything. It sounds severe but I do beleive this. I choose good health!!
What have I done this last year to improve my health? I have limited the amount of meat I consume and have tried being aa vegetarian for one week with great success. I've incorporated fruits and vegetables in my diet and decreased junk food. I cannot say I've eliminated it after what you will read below. I have not incorportated any exercise but I have made more effort to move my body daily and to crack open the snowshoes we purchased last Christmas. I have become more aware and have begun to listen to my body. I've taken a test to see what the good foods for me and what the bad foods for me are. You know what? I KNEW all the time what the good foods were and what the bad foods were but but chose not to listen to my own body. I believed that if someone else told me then that must be the answer! I know what feels good in my body and I know what doesn't! I'm 4o years old and for the first time in my life, I'm going to listen to my body. This was the most important thing I learned in 2007.
Right now, my body is very unhappy. Heavy meal on Christmas Day. Boxing Day we ate out and had humongous ribs at Tony Roma's and a huge onion appetizer deep fried thing. Don't forget, leftover Chinese at Mom's that night! Not to mention, days of eating a box Purdy's chocolates (like who can eat one?) , nibbling cookies while baking, and over indulging overall. Its Christmas afterall and haven't I deserved it? YesterdayI suffered BIG TIME. Nausea. Bloating. Oh yes, and gas that smelt like a toxic waste dump and other body waste as well. It's trying to detox with minimal success. Imagine putting your body through all that for the sake of a couple of moments of feeling the mmmmmmmmmmmm's. Its crazy.
Now, all I want is to feel comfortable in my body which I do not. I have tried bland food like crackers and scrambled eggs. I sipped tea. I drank water. I drank Pepto Bismol and a few moments ago, ate Gravol to numb the feeling. Pain in my stomach and radiating through my back was numbed by Advil. Not to mention, joint pain in my ankles, knees and elbow joints. My body is tired and I tried to lay down to calm it but only induced acid reflux. I've realized that there is no quick fix to what I have created. Just as the over the counter medications numb the pain, food numbs me in other ways. Its comfort, its instant gratification....
Emotionally, I'm pissed at myself. My health is preventing me from living my life. I can't move comfortably right now and I'm unhappy in my own skin. I've been invited to go places and I feel ashamed of how I look. I stand in front of my closet and wonder what I'm going to wear. The clothes I do have feel uncomfortable, ride up, pinch or bind... Quite often I choose black because .. black makes you look thinner. One would think that I would feel comfortable with my family but even them, I feel very self aware and have body issues.
I need to do something and I seriously need to do it, NOW.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
It was strange. The other day I went to write up my Christmas Cards and send off my gifts and for the first time in my life there was no card to be written for Grandma. I miss her. Today I'm going to wear the pin I gave her last Christmas. Mom gave it to me when she returned from BC.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Yep, the funny fat chick. I've always loved to laugh but I didn't laugh when I saw these pictures on Facebook. I felt ashamed. My boobs have gone south and my body is like a large barrel. I used to be Rubinesque --- now feel disgusting. I edited the one picture so that all I can see are the smiles and no stomach. I have no idea where to begin and am terribly frustrated and angry at myself right now.